Cosmo J. Weil
Hello. My name is Cosmo J. Weil. I am Bob J's cat sister. I am the most beautiful of all the cats. But I am sure he has completely forgotten to say anything about me. I will have to go kick his butt when I am done writing. Then again, Bob isn't quite as annoying as Joe is. So perhaps I will kick his butt instead. Or perhaps I will just have a nap and ignore them. Yeah.
My Boyfriends
I date only baseball players. And only stars. No benchwarmers! I have dated David Justice, until I dumped him in favor of Derek Cheater—I mean, Jeter—who left me for a screechy voiced little wench. But Derek and I have reconciled, and we still sometimes go out to clubs in New York. Last time we went, we met up with some guy who called himself "The Boss". Looked more like "A Loss" to me, but Derek said he was important, so I couldn't bite him.